12 Rules For Monk Mode #5: Play By The Rules

This is the fifth of a 12-part series remixing Jordan Peterson’s book 12 Rules For Lifeone chapter a week to coincide with the 12 weeks remaining for my one year celibacy vow.


We can argue all we like, but the fact is we have new rules in our society.

Why else did we go MGTOW? The legal rules in divorce and family court made it too risky to get married, and the new social rules of #MeToo make it too risky to date.

As we know, there is a section of us that are still in the Red Pill Rage, and frequent these circles that continuously churn out content related to the various ways we are degrading as a society, especially pertaining to the behavior of women. But returning to the scene of the crime isn’t going to help you heal.

“It is the things that occur every single day that truly make up our lives, and time spent the same way over and again adds up at an alarming rate…

No matter how good your intentions, or how sweet and tolerant your temperament, you will not maintain good relations with someone you fight with for a month and half of work weeks per year. Resentment will inevitably build.

Even if it doesn’t, all that wasted, unpleasant time could clearly be spent in more productive and useful and less stressful and more enjoyable activity.

p. 117, 118

We need to start seeing our lives more holistically, through the theme of compound interest. Every day is just a single brick to build the castle walls that will one day become the headquarters of your empire. Every day won’t be easy; some will feel like pennies, others like a dollar. But as long as you stay focused on building momentum, you will steadily see growth in positive directions.

The issue at hand, of course, is the lack of emotional support on dealing with the discontent within the “rage” phase. Men just don’t have the same emotional release ability that women do. As much as feminists want to believe it is due to toxic masculinity, the presence of testosterone makes it extremely difficult to physically expel those difficult emotions through therapeutic discussion and/or crying.

As men, we need to find a better outlet.

I’m not even willing to admit that I’ve gotten over the rage phase. I am simply choosing to ignore it by going Monk Mode. I know for certain that nothing positive will come about from my participation in the circles I mentioned earlier, but something of worth can be achieved if I instead seek within.

Today’s episode is about how we have actually gained much more than we have lost by going MGTOW Monk Mode.

“We assume that rules will irremediably inhibit what would otherwise be the boundless and intrinsic creativity of our children, even though the scientific literature clearly indicates, first, that creativity beyond the trivial is shockingly rare and, second, that strict limitations facilitate rather than inhibit creative achievement.”

p. 124

People view the lives of celibates, ascetics, and minimalists as ones with strict limitations, but what if those are the groups of people that are able to express and collect the most experience out of life?

Most people are slaves to their food and sex drives, and so fasting and abstinence are actually practices of freedom. Likewise, “the things you own end up owning you”, and so we put a limit on our possessions too through minimalism, so that we may move more freely.

“Discipline is freedom”, after all.

Not only am I on a one year celibacy vow, but I am also practicing No Fap, and so far I have gone six months without consuming any porn. However, the urge to relapse has been very strong lately.

But every day that I struggle with it, I continue to search deeper about where those feelings are coming from, and why? Is it loneliness, or lack of self expression? Equally I also ask myself why I should continue with these limitations, but then I look back on all the time spent on this experiment, and how putting a hard cap on my sexual exploration has allowed it to express itself in other ways.

Firstly, it was interesting to see myself seek out romance through watching anime, which I discussed in an earlier post: 1 Year Celibacy Update – 98 Days Remaining

A failure to properly sublimate my dissatisfaction and desires led me to engaging in escapism.

After the Yoko incident, I chose more wholesome anime, but still consumed it for a slightly similar reason. Over the last month, I have binge watched around 300 episodes of Naruto, with the urgency stemming from wanting to get to the end of the series and the start of its sequel, Boruto, as the romance between the main character and a love interest is finally resolved with them marrying and having children.

I was not interested in watching the filler episodes this time, but the only ones I would have sat through were the ones with Naurto and Hinata, so I actually searched YouTube for a compilation of all their exchanges so I wouldn’t miss out on anything. One of the YouTube comments said “I wish Hinata was real.”, and I really resonated with that, I must admit.

Yeah, I made it to Boruto now, by the way. I finally became proficient enough at my job to watch episodes alongside it, and was able to put in some 9+ hour work days to finish up Shippuden and get to the wedding. Last night, I actually dreamed that I went on two dates with Hinata.

But alas, this is just one observation.

I’ve been drafting a lot of creative content recently, not like these blog posts, but music, lyrics, novels, and even video game ideas.

What was most interesting as well was that my most recent idea for a novel had mature sexual themes in it, which is obviously a direct expression of my sexual emotions, but of course redirected in a more creative way, rather than all that energy being expended into the void through consuming porn and masturbating.

This experience has taught me that when we choose to go Monk Mode, we must take time to reflect on our progress and ascertain what we have gained through our experiments, as opposed to a mourning of our non-participation within the mainstream.

So many men are treating the difficulties in dating and marriage these days as such a tragedy, but what if it’s a blessing in disguise?

Play By The Rules

Each person’s private trouble cannot be solved by a social revolution, because revolutions are destabilizing and dangerous. We have learned to live together and organize our complex societies slowly and incrementally, over vast stretches of time, and we do not understand with sufficient exactitude why what we are doing works. Thus, altering our ways carelessly in the name of some ideological shibboleth is likely to produce far more trouble than good, given the suffering that even small revolutions generally produce.”

pp. 119

There’s a running fantasy within MGTOW for more men to become red-pilled and completely opt out of the system as a protest in order to restore society. Simps and spinsters get pies in their face, and declines in marriage rates and the closing of bridal shops receives applause. What was first an underground hideout for men seeking self-preservation has now, in some spaces, become a headquarters for a quiet social revolution.

What is ironic, though, is that the quote above is actually targeted at the more liberal groups pushing for far more social change through feminism and other diversity affairs. But I am opposed to both sides, however, as I stated in the previous episode, as I see conservatism (not politically, but culturally) decreasing, which I symbolized as ice melting, and instead of trying to freeze it back, we must see the future and know that water eventually evaporates, and then re-forms into ice much later.

A great practice in Stoicism is learning what is within our control, and foregoing all the things that aren’t is essentially the theme of Episode 3: Only Seek Your Power. However, this episode will differ slightly, as it is more about seeing worth (gratitude) in the very circumstances we struggle against.

Crisis and Opportunity

The Chinese characters for “crisis” are commonly interpreted in the West as a cross between “danger” and “opportunity.” This is particularly why I see futility in engorging ourselves in social change in modern times, as there’s always some other group that is benefiting (seeing “opportunity”) from whatever scenario you have labelled as “danger”.

For instance, the Pick-up Artists have benefited greatly from the sexual liberation of women through feminism, but more conservative men have obviously been bit by the bullet at the other end.

I don’t necessarily want men to become less conservative, but if your society has become so, I absolutely do not want them to swim against the tide, or yell at the sky. At this point, common advice to men who still desire the family life is to completely abandon America altogether, and marry abroad, (with strong emphasis on staying abroad as well).

“The evidence strongly suggests that human beings have become more peaceful, rather than less so, as time has progressed and societies became larger and more organized.

The !Kung bushmen of Africa…had a yearly murder rate of 40 per 100,00, which declined by more than 30% once they became subject to state authority. This is a very instructive example of complex social structures serving to reduce, not exacerbate, the violent tendencies of human beings.”

p. 121

Feminism can be said to be a consequence of peace and prosperity, and likewise, we could also be in the middle of the “good times create weak men/weak men create hard times” portion of the cycle. (If you’ve never heard of this, subsequently, hard times will create strong men, and strong men create good times.)

But we should step back and realize that we all benefit from this period of prosperity, even if it is degrading us culturally. The amount of wars in the world has been decreasing, and if I wasn’t so academically capable (and didn’t mind cutting my hair), I would have joined the military a long time ago to escape my circumstances. The military is more likely a safer career than a police officer these days.

When the world around us becomes too difficult, we should immediately stop seeking outward and only seek inward for our expression of power. But when we become strong enough to look externally again, we should cease in only seeing the danger, and instead always seek out the opportunities.

This also has nothing to do with optimism or positive thinking; it’s just about not allowing the perfect to be the enemy of the good. Of course, society can be improved. Everything can be improved, and to seek that is to be a living human, constantly in motion. But someone somewhere actually thinks things are good enough, or that this situation is even better. You may not be seeing the full picture, and you could use more objectivity as well.

So what is playing by the rules, exactly?

Simple. Stop trying to change society. Don’t change the rules of the game, externally. If you want to keep the rules you play by, simply change where you play.

“It’s also not for the best that all human corruption is uncritically laid at society’s feet. That conclusion merely displaces the problem, back in time. It explains nothing, and solves no problems. If society is corrupt, but not the individuals within it, then where did the corruption originate? How is it propagated? It’s a one-sided, deeply ideological theory.”

p. 118

I absolutely do not agree with America’s level of debt. But the citizens are in debt too, especially women, who hold the majority of the student loan debt in the country. Colttaine, near the end of his Matrix Behind The Matrix video believes that the bankers are never going to let that money walk, but there’s nothing stopping the majority of the voting base (women) from seeking out a way to socialize that debt, especially with the infinite printing press that is the Federal Reserve.

As someone with a 767 credit score, I think the country is absolutely rotten just for this respect only. But nonetheless, America is still the last institution expected to fall, and has only had it’s credit rating fall to an AA- since 2012, and at least before the Corona Virus fiasco.

Am I going to protest? Not at all. I’m going to continue to pay my taxes and be a good citizen (with my dollars at least, my cryptocurrency doesn’t exist), but I still definitely see “danger” here, as I don’t want to be around for when it’s finally time to tighten our belts, and so I’m simply going to quietly change MY game. I will ghost in plain sight, but secretly work on my exit strategy. I can find more fiscally responsible countries, or I can start to acquire more real assets, like land and self-sufficiency, and rely less on fiat currency.


The world is such a big place with endless opportunities, and so I am becoming deeply suspicious on why we hold such strong attachments to certain things, especially as MGTOW, that we feel we must lament it’s loss and fight to restore it.

Conservatism, by definition, is not creative. Once again, I do not have an issue with Conservatism itself, but only when one desires it when the rules have clearly changed. If you are Red Pill and you are like this, you are in the rage phase. If you are blue pill and you are like this, you will probably get divorced or #MeToo’d.

Now has it become clear?

Playing by the rules is just Stoicism and non-attachment. However, you can also benefit from the crisis if you play along and beat them at their own game. TFM has repeated that trans activists have done more for men’s rights than the actual Men’s Rights Movement, and TFM himself identifies as a “masculine presenting trans-gendered lesbian”, and encourages others to do so with a legal gender change, as there have been several success stories of men saving their jobs and even their financial aid for school by just changing that one letter on their ID card.

If we live in Clown World, and you’re not a clown, then the joke is on you.

Jordan Peterson explained quite well that despite how much children rebel against structure, it is actually good for them, as regulated meal and sleeping times prevents them from becoming irritable, and a lack of discipline from the parent leads the children to become frustrated and angry all the time, especially out in public.

So rules are good for us, but the best rules we can play by are the ones we apply to ourselves. After all, you don’t have to be MGTOW and red pilled. But you keep choosing the lifestyle for a reason, and it’s probably because you recognize, maybe not even consciously, that some rules, some limitations, actually allow you to grow.

For example, you may have realized, despite your tantrums, that cutting out women from your life has saved you time and money that allows you to now more seriously pursue your hobbies or career.

So, play by the strictest rules of all, and go Monk Mode, and see how far the roots and branches of the Tree of Life can truly grow.

Meditate on these matters.

And I will not see you on the Far Side, but next week Sunday at 12PM, every week for the rest of this series.

Thank you for reading. – Monk Moon Base

““No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” ― Carl Jung”

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Decoupling Love and Marriage; Destruction of The Family via Individualism – MGTOW

It should have been around 23 years old when I realized the exhaustiveness of the dating and family world.

Not only was I meant to generate a high enough income to support the 4+ children I wanted to have with a stay at home wife, but I also realized there were just way too many women to choose from, especially after becoming friends with English speaking girls around the world.

It was then that I appreciated the benefits of an arranged marriage. The choice would be made for me, and I would happily accept it, because the choice would not be arbitrarily made out of “love”, but for the duty of family.

Marriage was a stronger institution back then. It was controlled by the father, who was the head of the family, and the young couple could be a bridge to unite families. The right marriage could even form powerful alliances between kingdoms and nations.

But that’s all lost for now, all because of love.

Dowry and bride prices,, which are gifts awarded to the bride or her family, by the groom or the parents of the married couple, aren’t paid out anymore, and less parental involvement means less risk and incentive incurred for the family by the practice of marriage.

A man and woman who decide to get married today are completely on their own, which is in line with this new manufacturing of the nuclear family, and if that marriage fails, either by death or divorce, there is little to no security for the couple.

Especially in the case of divorce, where the husband bears most of the responsibility through alimony, child support, and even legal fees, despite our advancements in gender equality.

Events like these were foreseen and paid for in advance in ancient times.

As women were not usually recipients of inheritance, a husband was sometimes not even legally permitted to access the dowry account of his wife. In turn, bride prices could also be refunded back to the groom from the bride’s family if the marriage dissolved.

Love still existed back then; it just had to be paid for in advance.

The practice of marriage today persists on love and faith alone. In other words, marriage and families are financed on credit.

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The family used to be the most basic unit of society.

As most of the rights were granted to the father, they functioned like small governments, and with enough resources as land owning farmers, they were completely self-sufficient.

But what interests me the most was this alliance between families, as well as fathers being intent on passing down their family name through having male successors.

But with the proliferation of feminism and individualism, there appears to be less emphasis on family. The State is quite content with the individual being the basic unit of society as a wage just needs to be earned for taxable income, and low birth rates will be circumvented through immigration.

If we still had extended families, we could completely do away with welfare, even public education.

But I believe the incentive for breaking extended family units apart into smaller families is to extract more opportunity for consumerism. Now families need a separate house, car, food, and utilities for each branch of the family instead of one big shared home that reduces costs by combining resources and dividing the labor.

The State wants to keep the family isolated, even willing to reduce it down to a single parent household, even though the children of such upbringings are more likely to have developmental problems that brings down the overall quality of the society with increased statistical likelihood of drug use and crime.

I believe this destruction of the family must be sought after via greed for either money or power, because as stated earlier, a large family can be quite self-sufficient, not participating as heavily in the economy as the nuclear family, and as they function as their own small governments, the larger a family becomes, they could even rival the power of the main government.

Case in point: The Medici family of Italy.

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What Should Be Done? How Do I Feel About It?

“The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home” – Confucius

I believe the easiest way to restore society would be to restore the family, but I am unsure how to personally get involved with that.

When I look at my family, I don’t see anything close to the seeds of a powerful political family developing among us, especially since I was also not treated like I was truly meant to be a propagator of the family name and prince heir to the throne.

In fact, my grandfather’s family name only has six male descendants, and three of them appear to be MGTOW.

I am considering changing my last name, either to fully embrace individualism or out of spite because I romanticize the family customs of old.

I could participate more within my family and intend to repair this societal dysfunction by making an extension and start my own family, but there just aren’t any legal or social protections for me to keep my assets under my control.

Even if I were to avoid marriage through the State, children are very often considered property of the mother, and women, the voting majority, function more like the real wives of the State.

The answer to all our modern problems may not be to revert to traditionalism. For instance, more families would mean more increases to the population, and I believe we already have enough to have our fun for now on planet Earth. We could truly skip a generation.

A sophisticated modern solution is going to require a complete adoption of individualism but must also be savvy enough to be a step ahead of society and challenge the powers that be.

I believe that solution right now is MGTOW.

At the very least, since the losses of society seem to be socialized, it is vital not to continue contributing to the growth of the welfare state (i.e. do not create more single mothers).

MGTOW men would also be able to amass personal wealth by not diverting their assets through marriage and parenthood.

The only action left would be to somehow get these men to combine their power to challenge the current institutions of authority.

In an individualist society, organization like this doesn’t seem likely. But the alternative, marriages secured by nothing but love and faith alone, and family legacies that vanish within vacuums, will slowly lose its appeal.

More men will go their own way. Will they work together, though? That’s a question for another day.

But with 30% of children belonging to single-parent families, our old concepts of love, marriage, and family, are very close to being dead.


See you on the Far Side – Monk Moon Base

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