Originally published on March 26, 2021 on my Publish0x blog.
I tried the No Fap experiment during my celibacy vow last year. I used it as a tool for self-mastery, attempting to dissect everything about my desire.
In conclusion, while I think the practice is still useful in particular cases, for the most part I think it is a very dangerous thing to do, especially for MGTOW, and some Red Pill men.
If on one hand, we are becoming aware that relations with women can be dangerous, and on the other hand, porn and masturbation are being demonized, where else do we have to go?
I’ve noticed that the majority of no-fap practitioners are men that are struggling with the latter, and are actually using No-Fap to activate some “Law of Attraction” and become more desirable to women. Therefore, their demonization of porn makes sense, as it will starve them of sexual satisfaction, like a pit bull before a fight, and encourage them to embrace women.
But to men that have access to sex, porn is the lesser of two evils.
If they are trying to stay out of trouble, denying yourself of it will obviously make you want to pursue women again, as it is the better experience, albeit more risky.
But going back to the Pit Bull analogy, a content dog is a less aggressive dog, and getting your fill from porn consistently could have some drawbacks in the same way, depending on your industry.
Last month, a friends-with-benefits relationship I had ended and I didn’t feel like trying to date again. Therefore, I took that sexual frustration and turned it into creative writing, immersing myself in a fantasy world and cranking out 18 chapters over a month.
But as soon as I began jacking it to porn again, I lost the juice for it.
There should be a balance in all things, right?
Japanese porn is infamous for its censorship of the genitals, and yet, Japan is the largest porn producer in the world. That seeming handicap to their production actually pushes them to be more creative with everything else that’s visible (or audible) to become a more enticing experience.
The “Ecchi” genre of anime itself is an interesting phenomenon as well, as it balances sexual content with story telling. Of course, it restricts the sexual content, as not to become its counterpart, hentai, which is intended to be animated porn.
Narrative, among other talents (like acting, for example) more often than not seem to be sacrificed in works in which sexuality becomes the focus.
Going back to my personal experiences, not only did I practice No-Fap, but also Semen retention, and dabbled in some companion Qi Gong exercises as well.
One of my biggest pet peeves during sex is being told to cum, so it’s likely in the future that I eventually study the various advanced sex practices (Karezza, Tantra, Qi Gong) so I can withhold ejaculation and achieve a full-body orgasm, a deeper connection during sex, or the health benefits that are promised as well (the real sexual transmutation by the way, not just substituting porn with good habits, which is sexual sublimation, a Freudian theory).
So, despite my approval of abandoning No-Fap to stay off dating apps, I’m still red-pilled on the subject and can’t entirely go backwards.
Each dose is different for every man, as each man is at a different stage in his life.
For now, porn is not a bad thing and it’s keeping me out of trouble. But once again, the habit will be limited and observed.
And observation is very important, as a man’s sex drive is a powerful determiner.
Many lives are ruined daily to the pursuit of sex; men are arrested for rape and assault, unwanted children are conceived, diseases are contracted, marriages are ruined, money is wasted, women are used as bait for robbery or murder, etc.
Therefore, it’s important to know what feelings come up alongside our sexual urges.
For instance, after my 1 year celibacy vow was over, I only joined the dating apps because I had another semester of college, of which I was vastly uncomfortable with. That discomfort called for some sort of escapism, and I thought sex was the best way to satiate me while I was agonizing with the monotony of school work.
It should be pointed out again that any of the physiolocial needs that the consummatory behavior involved with them serve as channels for all sorts of other needs as well. That is to say, the person who thinks he is hungry may actually be seeking more for comfort, or dependency, than for vitamins or proteins.
Conversely, is it possible to satisfy the hunger need in part by other activities, such as drinking water or smoking cigarettes. In other words, relatively isolable as those physiological needs are, they are not completely so. – Abraham Maslow in A Theory of Human Motivation.
A few days ago, I had to go off and masturbate to porn because I looked out the window and saw a white girl with a thicc ass in some yoga pants walking her dog.
I wanted her, yet I’ve convinced myself not to date anymore.
I’m staying unattractive on purpose (at least delaying a hair cut, I’m still exercising) to exclude myself from the dance, because my better judgement says I have a full schedule of work to do. My logic suggests to put off dating, at least until I get back to campus, when interaction with young females will be unavoidable.
But I asked myself “What I am supposed to do with these feelings?”, and as those feelings remained, I doubted myself.
So when my two choices are 1) watching a porn video, “getting the poison out”, and going back to work vs. 2) wasting hours on dating apps and money on uber rides, the choice to give up No-Fap is very easy.
That said, I was still subject to post-nut clarity, and wondered if there was anything I could have done to remedy my discomfort about not having that girl in the purple pants. I did realize my schedule is a bit too rigid. I try to do the hardest tasks of the day first before any leisure activities or side projects.
However, that rigidity added to my discomfort; it was another instance of not being able to express myself. This re-evaluation on No-Fap perhaps may have influenced me to have a freer schedule so I don’t cling to distractions when the work is too difficult on some days.
However, if it wasn’t for the clarity I’ve gotten in regards to my decreased productivity with my fiction writing, I most likely wouldn’t have cared at all about putting a bottleneck on this thing at this stage of my life.
At the end of the day, I no longer have any judgement towards men who consume porn, and frankly consider it a net positive for society, if it at least reduces some sex crimes.
I’ll See You on the Far Side… – Monk Moon Base
Note: If you’re wondering why my thumbnail is Paul Giamatti, it’s referring to a character he played in the show Lodge 49, in which he was a prolific mystery novelist who credited his vast output on retaining his semen for 10 years, and also employing a muse.